Lies Women Believe About Sex & Marriage

Since the beginning of time, the evil one has been whispering lies about sex and marriage. These are lies women believe, even today. They are lies that affect our emotions.

The first sin began with a lie to a woman. Part of it was that she would be like God. In other words, she would be respected, honored, looked up to, admired, and more.

Unfortunately, women can be pushovers. They often allow their feelings to rule them.

What feeds the lies women believe?

The evil one is called the “father of lies” for a good reason. (1)

These lies usually appeal to our senses and feelings. So what are some of the basic lies that Satan wants us to believe?

  1. Life is about me so I should not have to live with unfulfilled longings.
  2. My value and worth are determined by others so I need their approval (because I fear their disapproval).
  3. God really is not enough so I must seek my own solutions.
  4. Physical beauty matters more than anything else so I need to get others to notice me.
  5. I have to have a husband to be happy and fulfilled.
  6. I have to have a child to be happy and fulfilled.
  7. Truth is what I experience so if I feel something it must be true.
  8. If my circumstances were different, then I would be different and feel different.

These underlying assumptions set the stage for lies women believe about sex and marriage.

Women have always wanted to be loved, cherished, and adored, not realizing that Jesus is the only one who can fully meet that need.

Consequently, women will go to great lengths to get those needs met.

Lies women believed about sex and marriage in Biblical times

When it comes to feelings and emotions the women of the Bible were really no different than today. They had all the same INSECURITIES that we have.

These women were controlled by their emotions, cultural values, and peer pressure. And just like us today, they often let these things determine their value and worth.

Lot and his daughters are an example. They escaped annihilation when their city was destroyed.

The daughters were afraid that they would never get married and have children. All the men they knew were gone.

So they concocted a plan. They got their dad overly drunk. Then they each slept with him so they could get pregnant.

These daughters did not trust God. They accepted one of the lies women believe. You can read their story in Genesis. (2)

Lies women believe about sex and marriage today

Other than a relationship with God, the bond between a man and woman was meant to be one of the most special relationships here on earth.

Lies women believe about Sex

All you have to do is look at the way many women dress and act today to know that they have believed lies about sex.

These women believe they must lure a man into a relationship regardless of what it takes. You see, they want to “FEEL loved”, not knowing what love really is.

What they really feel is “passion” which rises and falls like ocean waves. It can never be satisfied beyond the sexual encounter. It becomes addictive. You have to experience it often or you don’t “FEEL loved”.

At the root of these choices is the lie that she must be in a relationship to be worthwhile. Sex is then used as the lure, just like a fisherman uses a lure. It looks attractive and fools the fish into taking the bait.

One of the many problems with this lie is that a sexual relationship makes a woman’s heart vulnerable to great heartache when things don’t work out.

Many women will try one sexual relationship after another. Soon the special bond that should be formed between a man and a woman becomes cheap and of little value.

Finally, when she does marry, her relationship with her husband is often damaged.

Don’t embrace the lies women believe about sex and marriage. Sex is not your ticket to being loved and valued.

Don’t let your peers or a man pressure you into a sexual relationship. It is a lie that you need approval from others.

Lies women believe about marriage

  1. Marriage will make me happy.
  2. I will feel loved and adored when I have a husband.
  3. A baby will give me purpose- I will feel needed.

There are many more lies – crafted specifically for what will draw each of us into its grip. But these 3 lies alone show that most of us believe that marriage is all about us and our feelings. We may not say it out loud, but that is what we expect.

For those who truly believe that marriage is about being happy, let me share a little secret. There are many unhappy married women according to numerous studies.

Jesus taught us by His example that life is not about us personally.

” … the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:28 ESV

When we believe that marriage is to fulfill all of our needs, then sooner or later we can expect lots of rough spots along the way.

When a woman gets married with this kind of expectation, there is a high probability that it will end in divorce.

Combating the lies women believe about sex and marriage

Photo of a person's hands in chains and a free butterfly above the hands, with the caption, "truth sets us free" from the lies women believe.
The truth will free you from the lies women believe

There is only one solution for the lies women believe and that is God’s truth.

Combatting the basic lies women believe

  1. We were not created for ourselves but for God. Following Jesus is the only thing that will truly bring us joy. (3)
  2. Only God’s opinion of us matters. He loves and cherishes us more than we realize. (4)
  3. God gave us everything we need to live a Godly life. (5)
  4. Trying to meet cultural standards of beauty creates a great amount of peer pressure that God never intended for us to endure. (6)
  5. Only in God’s presence is complete Joy. No man or child can give this to us. (7)
  6. Same as 5.
  7. Our hearts are deceitful. Our feelings are fickle. We must look to God for truth, not ourselves. (8)
  8. Our circumstances only reveal what is already inside us. To change our feelings we must change our thoughts. (9)

Combatting lies women believe about sex and marriage

“If you are single … life doesn’t start when you get married. It starts when Christ pulls you out of the grave.” (10)

Being single often feels like a cure. But life does not begin once we have a romantic relationship. That is one of the lies that women believe.
Quote from Jocelyn Bernice Lopez

God’s truth really does set us free from the lies that women believe about sex and marriage.

If you are struggling with thoughts and feelings that seem to be controlling you, you need to be as close as possible to God. But how do you do that?

Psalms chapter 119 gives us words that we can pray. Here is just a portion of it.

“Lord, I want to be free from the lies that women believe about sex and marriage. Help me:

  • guard my heart with your words (verse 9)
  • seek you with my whole heart (verse 10)
  • not wander away from you (verse 10)
  • memorize Bible verses so I won’t sin (verse 11)
  • let you teach me (verse 12)
  • delight in your words and treasure them (verse 14)
  • think about your words throughout the day (verse 15)
  • not forget your words (verse 16)
  • see all that you have for me in Scripture (verse 18)

We can escape the lies women believe about sex and marriage if we listen to God. However, His voice is quiet.

We can not hear God unless we are close to Him through a relationship with Jesus Christ.

If you don’t know Jesus, you probably have questions. The people at Chat About Jesus have answers. You can text, call, or chat with them online any time of the day or night.

Wrapping it up

At the time of this writing, I am still single. Do I sometimes long for someone to affirm and tell me I am cherished and adored? Of course.

But what really matters is that I am cherished and adored by God. Humans will let me down- every single one of them. Why? Because we are imperfect.

One thing we can count on. The evil one is going to keep whispering the lies women believe about sex and marriage.

You can either wait on God or wish you had.” (11)

photo of a ship beached and wrecked, with the caption, "you can either wait on God or wish you had." Our lives can become ruined when we heed lies women believe.
Quote from Dr. Charles Stanley

Those really are our only choices. We don’t have to be a victim of the lies women believe. We can learn the truth from God’s word.

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References:

  1. John 8:44
  2. Genesis 16:1-4, 18:1-15, 21:1-14.
  3. Colossians 1:16
  4. Proverbs 29:25, Acts 5:29, Deuteronomy 3:16
  5. 2 Peter 1:3
  6. 1 Samuel 16:7
  7. Psalm 16:11, John 10:10
  8. Jeremiah 17:9
  9. Luke 6:45, Matthew 12:24, Philippians 4:11-13
  10. Jocelyn is a teacher in San Antonio, Texas. She firmly believes that age should not dictate a decision to marry, but rather direction from God.
  11. The late Charles F. Stanley was a church pastor in Atlanta, Georgia for almost 50 years. He also was a prolific writer and the author of many books.

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