Do you sometimes feel forgotten when you are grieving?
Many people are uncomfortable around those who have experienced great loss. They don’t know what to say and just avoid those who have lost loved ones to death, divorce, or abandonment.
It is comforting to know that we are never alone in these seasons of our life. God knows every single tear we cry. In fact, Scripture tells us that God collects our tears.
But what does that really mean?
What we need when we are grieving
During our darkest moments, we have very special needs for:
- great compassion and understanding
- tenderness and kindness
- presence but not always words
- comfort
- time to grieve
Bible verses about our tears
“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.” Psalm 56:8 NLT
Did you know that tear bottles are a real thing, a literal bottle? They date back about 3,000 years to the Roman Empire.
“Mourners would fill small glass bottles with tears and placed them in burial tombs as symbols of love and respect.” (1)
Precious tears are seen and kept in God’s collection. I don’t know if He has a separate bottle of tears for each of us, but it would not surprise me since He “counts the very hairs of your head.” (2)
“The eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry.” Psalm 34:15 ESV
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4 ESV
“He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces …” Isaiah 25-:8 ESV
People will let you down
Not everyone will understand what you are going through.
Not everyone will be compassionate. Compassion is a concern for the sufferings and misfortunes of others.
Not everyone will be kind. Kindness is treating others with a gentle spirit. Grieving individuals may say things that others do not agree with. This is not the time for correction.
Not everyone will be present, to just be there. Those mourning do not need someone to fix things, but to communicate love and concern. It does not always require words.
Not everyone will offer comfort. It is not giving unsolicited advice. Instead, it is giving a card, a hug, a hand on the shoulder, bringing a meal, or a gift card to their favorite restaurant.
Not everyone will be patient. Patience is not growing weary when the grieving person wants to talk about things they have already told you. It is also not pressuring them to get through the process in any certain time frame.
God is everything we need in life’s sorrows
What is your concept of God? Your past may greatly influence your perception of Him. It is important to understand that we have a tender-hearted Father. If you had a harsh dad this may be hard to understand.
God’s word tells us that He is everything we need in our sufferings of this present time.
Unlike people who will let you down, God is full of compassion and kindness. He knows everything we are going through and understands our great pain.
“Then the Lord said, ‘I have surely seen the affliction of my people who are in Egypt and have heard their cry because of their taskmasters. I know their sufferings,’ ” Exodus 3:7 ESV
God’s response is the same to all his children down through time. He knows your “Egypt”, those circumstances causing you great grief. He notices tears of sorrow.
The compassion of our Heavenly Father
Human beings face many troubles in life and those difficult times bring emotional pain.
God’s compassion was seen clearly when Jesus wept over the death of Lazarus. Even though He already knew that Lazarus would be resurrected, He felt deeply the grief of His friends.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.” Romans 12:15 ESV
God’s love for us is demonstrated by His compassion.
The tenderness and kindness of our Heavenly Father
“The fruit of the spirit (of God) is … gentleness …” Galatians 5:22-23 (explanation added)
In the Gospels when several parents had very ill children, Jesus treated them with love and respect. You will never find anyone more tender, kind, and gentle. (5)
The presence of our heavenly father
” … He has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5 ESV
When we love Jesus, God’s presence is promised.
“Call to me and I will answer you … ” Jeremiah 33:3 ESV
The comfort of our heavenly father
Comfort is offered in many ways.
- God’s promises are found in God’s word, the Bible
- In the house of the Lord – that is, where people who love Jesus come together.
- Crying out to the Lord in prayer- yes, when we acknowledge our dependence on God He promises to be there and listen.
The patience of our heavenly father
Unlike human beings, God will not hurry our grieving process along. He won’t make us feel like somehow we need to get over the loss.
When it feels like our heart has been ripped out of our chest, we will eventually heal, but we also will have scars. God understands this.
The good thing is that at some point God will give us the opportunity to use our hard time full of grief in some constructive way.
But until then, He remembers that we are human and healing takes time.
God collects our tears when our hearts have been broken
There is a special place in the heart of God for those who grieve. Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds. (3) Your fountain of tears is part of that process.
Do you know how much God loves you? God’s plan for us is good. (4)
You are not alone in these hard times. God sees every tear shed and feels the sorrow you feel. Cry out with a loud voice to Him.
This intense pain won’t last forever. You will again have what the Bible calls “songs of joy.” That is one of His faithful promises from the Word of God.
” … Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.” Psalm 30:5 ESV
You might also like to read
References:
- Tear Catcher
- Matthew 10:30
- Psalm 147;3
- Jeremiah 29:ll
- Luke 7:11-17, Mark 5:21-24