Feeling Joyful Even When You Are Single

All I ever wanted was for someone to cherish me, to adore me. Some of the people in my life let me down. I came to the conclusion that I was not lovable, that something was wrong with me. Can a person with this mindset make a u-turn and feel joyful even when single? I did. Let me tell you how.

A mystery – feeling joyful when single

Years ago in about 1975, I heard iconic missionary, Elizabeth Elliot speak. At that point in her life, she was a widow for the second time. Her first husband was murdered in 1956, and her second husband died in 1973. I remember her saying something that made absolutely no sense to me. It wouldn’t be until 2012 that I would begin a journey that helped me to understand her statement, “The Lord is my husband.” Clearly, Elizabeth Elliot was feeling joyful when single.

photo of the author, S.K. Brown, and missionary/speaker Elizabeth Elliot. Elizabeth felt joyful even when she was single again.
S.K. Brown left
Elizabeth Elliot right

Not feeling joyful in singleness

2012 thrust me into being single again. The year before that my mother had died so I was still settling her estate, closing my parent’s ministry, and selling the property. I kept very busy and had a lot of people around me. I didn’t have much time to think about being single.

Solitude and loneliness

Once we purchased our farm in 2015 I had many days of solitude with time to think. It suddenly hit me that I was alone. The rest of the family adults were busy at their jobs. I spent long hours on the tractor doing field maintenance, working on the growing to-do list of farm needs, and caring for animals. There was no one during the day with which to share my struggles or victories. I hadn’t learned yet how to feel joyful in my singleness.

We bought the farm in July. Thanksgiving and Christmas went well as all of the relatives wanted to see the property and celebrate with us. The approaching of Valentine’s Day was a different story. I had always loved to receive fresh flowers and knew there would be none since I didn’t have a ‘special’ person in my life. Valentine’s Day can be difficult for many single people. Maybe you are in that camp.

Planting flowers

In the late fall, I had planted some pansies just outside my cottage door. They grew slowly in the cooler months of December and January. When February 1st came there still were no flowers. Then as I came out of my door on February 14th the pansies were in bloom. God had given me flowers for Valentine’s Day. I cried and felt joy, all at the same time. I was learning about feeling joyful when I was single.

More gifts

On two other occasions God has given me unique gifts that no one else could have given.

Photo of our baby goat with a heart shaped section of hair on its back, that was born just before Valentines day. This was a gift from God that helped me feel joyful even when I was single.

In February of 2017, we had baby goats born just before Valentine’s Day. It was an exciting time as these were the first animal babies I had ever helped to deliver. I was surprised at how beautiful they were. Look at the photo of this little one with a surprise on her back of a dark furry heart shape.

Our Creator God was speaking my “love language” again when I needed confirmation that I was special to someone.

Finally, several months later, one of our hens presented me with an egg that had a darker pigmented heart on the shell, another gift from God.

The real knight in shining armor

By the time this egg came along, I felt very cared for by God. Along with scripture, these gifts helped me realize that the knight in shining armor, the one I had always longed for, was already mine. His gifts were things that could not be mistaken as from anyone else. He was the faithful, caring, tender, yet strong and loving one I needed. I finally understood what Elizabeth Elliot meant when she said, “The Lord is my husband.”

Do you need to feel joy in your singleness?

Photo of a woman on a swing, alone and text overlay that reads, "Feeling joyful even when you are single"

If you are struggling with singleness, press into our Creator God through Jesus Christ, and learn from Him. He cares for you more than anyone else. He will never leave you even if others do. A relationship with Him will not die if you know Him as your Savior.

“I have loved you with an everlasting love.” (Jeremiah 31:3) “For God so loved that world that He gave”- His most precious gift, Jesus Christ. (John 3 16). “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends, if you do whatsoever I command you.” (John 15:13-14)

If you have questions about how to have a personal relationship with Jesus, the lover of your soul, please call or text 1-888-need-Him, or you can chat at www.chataboutJesus.com . Someone is waiting there to talk to you.

A Gift for you

I would like to give you to the coloring page shown here to remind you that Jesus is the real knight in shining armor, the lover of your soul.

Simply click on the image to download. No email required.

When printed on card stock it can easily be laminated and hung with twine or ribbon.

Also see the resource page for journal pages, coloring collections, books, and music on finding hope, joy, and peace.

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