Conquer Feelings About Being Single On Valentine’s Day

Romance and roses. Cards and candy. Hearts and more hearts. This is the way to celebrate in our Western Culture. So being single on Valentine’s Day can feel like being out of sync. It is an oddity.

How are singles who are not in a romantic relationship to cope on a day that points out what they often want but don’t have?

Some questions that you might be asking are:

  • Why is Valentine’s Day hard for singles?
  • Is it OK to be single? (especially on Valentine’s Day)
  • Is there a special day for singles?
  • How do I deal with being single on Valentine’s Day?

Since I am single (again), I understand these questions. February 14th used to be painful for me, but not anymore. I want to help answer your questions about being single on Valentine’s Day.

Why is Valentine’s Day hard for singles?

All we have to do is look at our culture and it becomes clear why the single life is hard on Valentine’s Day. We live in a “happily-ever-after culture” that is promoted in movies, books, children’s stories, you name it.

The knight in shining armor rescues the beautiful maiden and they live in bliss forever. Is it any wonder that this time of year is difficult?

Long before Cupid’s Day, every grocery store and big box store has Red and White cards, flowers, and gifts to remind you a couple’s holiday is forthcoming.

If you are looking for TV shows to watch, romantic comedies increase on Netflix and the playlists of other platforms. 

It seems like you can’t escape the heralding of a day that was not meant for you. 

On February 15th you will see photos all over social media of the favorite restaurant couples went to, the sweet treat received in a heart-shaped box, the dance party they went to, and flowers of course.

This is just another slap in the face for many single women. 

Many families expect their daughters to find a man and be in a romantic relationship or to get married by the time they are a certain age.

This pressure makes many young women feel like something is wrong with them if they pass that magical age and are still single.

What about those whose marriages or romantic relationships failed? Are they second-class citizens when that happens? Some would say yes.

It can be hard without the right perspective. Then when you add in a “romance holiday”, it is quite clear why Valentine’s Day is hard when you have “single” status. 

But before we go any further, let me reassure you that “happily ever after” is a myth.

Married people or those with a romantic partner are not guaranteed a blissful life. Many married women struggle with the same lonely, insecure feelings.

Is it OK to be single? (especially on Valentine’s Day)

I am not sure why people ask this question, except that our culture has dictated to them that something is wrong. Very seldom are youngsters taught an appreciation for singleness.

Our relationship status does not make us more or less valuable. Our purpose in life does not change because we are single, divorced, or a widow.

To feel secure as a single person requires that we find our identity in our relationship with God, and not in our associations with other people.

Singleness is a season in life. We start life single and many of us will end life single. It is OK to be single.

If Valentine’s Day is for couples, is there a special day for singles?

Though not a recognized holiday, February 15th is now observed by many as “Singles Awareness Day” or “Singles Appreciation Day.”

My question is, “Why do we single people need a day all our own to celebrate?” I am the same person every day of the year and singleness is not a curse. In fact, there are quite a few advantages to being single.

Marriage is a lot of work. So those who are single have more freedom and fewer distractions. That can be a good thing during some seasons of our lives.

How do I deal with being single on Valentine’s Day?

So how have you tried to deal with being single? I want to share with you some of the best ways to ease the discomfort and even thrive in our “happily-ever-after” culture. 

  1. Start falling in love with Jesus
  2. Settle your identity
  3. Stop watching romantic movies
  4. Start keeping a gratitude journal
  5. Look for someone to serve
  6. Celebrate with other singles the gift of physical and spiritual life

One of the best things that you can do for yourself is to start falling in love with Jesus. Spend quality time with Him. In fact, He can become one of your best friends. 

If you don’t know Jesus, you probably have questions. The people at Chat About Jesus have answers. You can text, call, or chat with them online any time of the day or night.

What is important to the rest of the world becomes less important when you “love Jesus with your heart, soul, and mind.” (Matthew 22:37)

All single folks need to kick the pity party to the curb. We are not second-class citizens because of our relationship status. 

Many women believe that life doesn’t really begin until they get married. This is a fantasy.

Being single at Valentine's day often feels like a curse. But life does not begin once we have a romantic relationship.

Life doesn’t start when you get married. It starts when Christ pulls you out of the grave!

It is impossible for any human to make us feel complete. In fact, the only one who can do this is Jesus. 

Until we get that settled in our thoughts, we will always be trying to find someone to fill up our “empty cup” emotionally when our cup has a hole in it. That empty feeling is our need for Jesus.

And if you have gone through a divorce, there are additional emotions that come to the surface. These women often wonder, “Who am I after divorce?

Not only can you get hooked on romance, but it is a slow reminder that you are the only single person in your neighborhood or at work. And reading a romance novel just adds more fuel to the fire.

Why torture yourself that way? They are just fantasies, not everlasting love. They give you false ideas of what successful relationships look like

Being single on Valentine’s Day can be a real bummer if all you focus on is what you don’t have. But when we write down all the blessings that God has given to us, our emotions begin to change.

Even when we don’t feel like being grateful, going through the motions soon brings us huge benefits. We can fake it till we make it! And the benefits are proven by science.

Too many American adults are wrapped up in what they can get out of life. It often leads to unhappy relationships.

But when we have a servant’s heart, it often creates social connections that last a lifetime. We can keep as busy as we want, while at the same time discovering our purpose in life.

This is a great activity to take some of the sting out of being single on Valentine’s Day. 

Never underestimate the benefits to you personally when you get involved in other people’s lives. At the end of the day, you will find that it is the perfect opportunity to feel good about yourself. 

Good friends are at the center of our emotional existence. God created us for community with those who can encourage us. It does not take romantic love to know that we are loved and appreciated.

Many women get together for Galentine’s Day to celebrate their friendships. If you are not familiar with this unofficial holiday, it is done anytime between February 1st and February 15th.

This could even be a new tradition. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. You can celebrate over a cup of coffee, or visit a new restaurant. Any fun activities are the perfect excuse to celebrate.

But don’t stop when February is over. There are plenty of reasons to celebrate and ways to encourage each other. Keep those connections alive. Your future self will thank you. 

Here are just a few encouraging Bible verse for being single on Valentine’s Day.

  • “Jesus came so I could have abundant life.” (John 10:10)
  • “No love is greater than from Jesuss.” (John 15:13)
  • “Joy comes from being in the presence of God.” (Psalm 16:11)
  • “God’s love is everlasting.” (Jeremiah 31:3)
  • “Nothing can separate us from the love of God.” (Romans 8:38-39)
  • “God will never leave us.” (Deuteronomy 31:8, Hebrews 13:5)
  • “God’s plans for us are good.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
  • “God gives the best gifts. Every good gift comes ultimately from Him”. (James 1:17)

You can download these verses in a “card deck” form to carry with you or place them where you can see them often. No Email is required. Enjoy!

Bible verse card deck for being single on Valentine’s Day

Final thoughts on being single on Valentine’s Day

Is it hard being single on Valentine’s Day? Yes, of course it is. But so is being married for many women on many more days than just February 14th.

Solid relationships are what bring joy to our lives, starting with Jesus and then extending to others around us. This is how we conquer our feelings about being single on Valentine’s Day.

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